India win in Perth and first night of arranged marriage

Now if you ,the nameless unfortunate stumbler on to this blog, have had the even greater misfortune of going through the not so considerable archive of posts, you would know that I expertly navigate around anything remotely interesting , current, useful or intelligent.
No sir, I had rather u wallowing in my self deprecating humor than have u aware of this fsmawful mess of the world we live in. If you are about to say that you are already sufficiently aware etc.. save your breath , as I am only sane because I have tightly shut myself away from seeing the mediocrity we dwell in and have become one of the giants of mediocrity myself. Uh-oh I am again about to get into a state of consciousness. Time to close the shop.
Yeah, so sweeping under the carpet all the insightful and terrifically boring talk of my existence , I am breaking the tradition of letting you live in a fantasy land on my blog to mention a current event. No , Don't worry, I would never touch anything disturbing by a 10-foot pole. This is about the Indian win in Perth. Yes there are some things in this world which yet let us think how not f***ed up everything is, which ,believe me, it actually is.
So 4th day of the test match and we were letting them Aussies have it. Sharma bowled a sensational spell. I can bet punter would have sucked his thumb and called his mom later. O.k., I am being mean , he would have just cried quietly in the bathroom , on floor curled in a fuoetal position. So on this remarkable day,we get everybody out , including gilly bowled round the legs by sehwag and are about to finish off a big 140+ win. But then , Johnson and Clark start slogging. Johnson hits 4s repeatedly in a packed leg side field and clark pulls everything outrageously out of reach of groping fielders. In no time they have added 70 runs. Each of Indian players is shocked and angry and continues to bowl tripes at them, hoping they would hole out . Its hugely idiotic. Just bowl line and length damnit! they are tailenders for fsm's sake. By that time I really got annoyed and pissed off. It was just so plain stupid. The victory came soon after but the bitter taste that mediocrity, even though momentary, leaves, stayed for long. I just could not enjoy it as I thought I would.
And that's when I had this glimpse of how the first night of arranged marriage would be or have been for us unfortunate guys and girls who still go through it. I need you to be with me at this point. Consider that you are getting married to a girl/boy you have not really known more than couple of months or weeks. You go through the tortuous meeting of parents , horoscopes , uncomfortable questions. You bat well to deflect the relative of the bride/groom , you try to bowl your mother in law early else she deciphers you and starts hating you before its too late for her to do anything about it. And then you endure the endless rituals on the day of marriage which test your patience and with consummate skill you try to keep the irritation on those relatives from hell to your self. Why? because at the end of it is your prize , You , the 20 something virgin get to have that thing which us Indians love and are hypocritical about , sex.
So you wait and finally its over, you dream of walking to the stage and accepting the trophy of man of the match . But no not yet, apparently your friends are yet to leave and so are the devils(relatives) and imps(their kids) around your better half. Does it sound familiar? just skip two paragraphs above and you would know. Anyway, finally after cursing everyone to their eventual painful death , you get to the best part. Its called sex and its terribly awkward for two naked strangers who have never done anything like it before. Both of you get over with it, hide your face in the darkness and are relieved that it was over,fast.

At 4 in the morning , lying on the bed , seeing Harsha go all ga-ga and rub it into aussies by asking each and every Aussie player he could get his hands on : " I know this must be a new experience , loosing it at home .... " and yet pretending to be the most unbiased commentator ever, I felt just that. Big Relief that it was over. where was the joy?
It came after an hour, I said to myself "wow, even though it sucked at the end , over all it was worth it. We did it. Take that!"
a low 'Yes!' to myself was my celebration. Right then, I could imagine hundreds of newly weds lying on the bed at that very same moment and saying exactly the same thing to themselves.
I know we would be less jittery as we get used to winning more and more as would the specimens of my example as they get it more and more. The future is not that bad if it involves only the above.

A little freedom struggle

They were a free bunch, revelling in the nature and being as the nature had made them to be. They enjoyed the air that coursed through them or the tickle of water when it meandered through their free flowing bodies. yes they loved the world as it was. The mere fact that they existed in a state in which they did was a war cry against the existing system. They, in their small way, were revolutionaries.
It had been 8 months since they had decided to walk on this path, path of the free where there is much derision thrown by the tyranny which has ,since they had known existence, tried to mould them , change them in the way the autocracy would have liked: the same old story of people being pushed and pulled according to the whims and fantasies of the rulers. Millimeter by millimeter they had fought the battle and millimeter by millimeter they had gained. Each new day brought a new life , promise of a new fight and they went on spurred by the determination to let nature win over the man made rules of existence. It was a little drama being played with little wins and little hiccups overcome. Make no mistake , the magnitude may be small but the importance and the significance of this little story being played was not lost on the society, nor did it go unnoticed by the rulers. They seethed in anger and decided to punish these puny beings who were bringing a change in this world slowly. And the rulers decided to wait for the right opportunity to strike. At one hand there was this threat and on the other was the fact that they were fast becoming role models with more and more of the generation deciding to go their way , hoping to follow the path set. They decided to face death rather than let down all the followers and turn back on their mantra. The fight went on.
Its an age old method and the best as well, immortalised in sholay as 'holi kab hai?, kab hai holi?!' And so it was they were attacked on this diwali. A long and bloody war ensued, fight to the end . it was brutal and enemy had blades of death and sheaths that could cut through branches in one go , shreds of bodies flew all around and 1 hour of bloody war later , i had the first haircut in 8 months. Parents ruled yet again.

One wierd story

This will sound weird but its true......
Right now I am writing this piece all stitched up i.e. my face contains some foreign black thread which is NOT a pretty girls solitary hair finding its refuse on the curves between my maxilla and mandible but literally a black thread sutured into my jaw and the worst part is that I had to pay for it!
yesterday I finished my game of soccer , a somewhat intense one as the selection for inter dc tourney is going on. I was one of the last one to leave the ground after my customary rounds around it. As I walked out of the gate waving cheerily to the security guard, I saw a lone girl standing with 4 guys surrounding her a few meters off the road. Now I should have guessed nothing 'cause as it is , we work in a highly secure area. But I felt something, was it because the girl seemed pretty? or did she look as if in trouble. I cant keep my fingers on the exact thing that put me on to it but I felt something was out of place here outside my work place
( Now as I think back, a beautiful girl around my workplace is surely out of place )
Any way I went towards them being as casual as I can be, as if watching 4 guys and a girl and all of them collectively in trouble is a typical scene on this deserted road. The lot didn’t look inviting but the girl certainly didn’t run and hid behind me. That put me at ease, ok, no trouble here or else if the girl had found a hero , I mite have had to face 4 villains and that certainly is a tough job if u r not a kith or a kin of anybody remotely connected to deol family. Now what I perceived to be a safe distance i.e. an arms length of a distance, I asked “Excuse me, is there any problem?"
I have done some pretty dumb things in life, but before you say anything, I agree, this beats them all. Suddenly as if by the use of some ancestral black art, the till then "safe" distance between me and the closest guy shrunk. POP! I see his hands come out withholding something large and POW! I feel it on my jaw. I was surprised, I mean, c'mon he could have given me a good enough answer like " Oh! its nothing, good Sir, we are having some private conversation" and I would have left it at that or he could have given me an answer like "its none of your business" and then let me have it or he could have answered like "take this , u nosy b******" and then busted my jaw. He could even have used his body language and given me a sullen stare and I would have, like any other gentle( there are times ladies!)man, understood and turned my back on the whole affair. How can anyone answer a perfectly harmless question by putting your perfectly good jaw line out of shape?

I hope you are getting the extent to which I was surprised, it's like you take a tentative step forward in the dark hoping to find the ground and are suddenly airborne or like you believe that your seat is right beneath your behind and suddenly find yourself falling down towards earth. The worst part is, all of the above happen in slow mo. There comes out a hand and there you hear a crunching noise somewhere perilously close all in slow mo. Of course the hand is fast and its you who are slow but still wont it be good if all of it happened in a flash unlike too close to one of your dreams where you try to run and are rooted to same spot?
OK, let me continue, as I told you I was surprised, too surprised to see that they were running now except the girl. Surprise is always a good thing when somebody else is having it. It was great that I didn’t see them run or I would have been a bit more surprised and that would have been too much of a good thing . First the scoundrels hit me with god knows what and then run away? This is not happening. And then suddenly I guessed it , as I was clutching my face , that it was only me and her! Villains were now gone, afraid of drawing the first blood, fearing that hero's wrath would fall upon them. All this just when I , uh I mean the hero was beginning to get his famous temper on. Fate had cast me as a hero . Heroine was standing right there, I had to walk and she would be in my arms. One grateful kiss? Is it too much to expect first up? All right, I will just hold her and may be later exchange numbers after having a coffee. Now that sounds plausible, doesn’t it? There was no one on the street, no one to bother us at that point of time. Everything was just right.
Yes, this is it.
As I took each step , I felt the presence of some white light and a strange peace. with each step the light grew stronger and the silence more discerning. As I neared her I felt the light cross its threshold and engulf me and the silence get to the point where nothing else could be heard. Yes, this is what is called love at first sight.
The next step was into light and silence, the heavenly combination.

Somebody said " Call the ambulance".
Don't know for how much time had I been lying on the roadside. As if in a dream I saw the ambulance coming up and me reaching the hospital. When I fully gained consciousness ladies and gentlemen, The doctor had thrust a mirror onto my face, expecting me to get all gleeful and appreciate what a fine job of a crisscross tailoring he had just done.
I was feeling a bit woozy when I asked "doctor, will the scar remain?" He answered a knowing yes. Then I asked "doctor would I be able to play in next weeks tourney " and I felt a lot more woozy when he answered an emphatic 'NO' and then...........
they charged me 1200 bucks.
I passed out again.

When I was back from wonderland they charged me 1500 bucks.
Don’t you ask me what happened to the girl nor that was it a theft with that pretty girl into it from head to toe.And yes if somebody asks you about what happened to "Abhi". Tell them what I am going to tell them all, that some idiot in an overzealous effort to get the ball out of my reach banged his 5' some" head into a 5'10" jaw. Abhi was taken to the hospital and he is currently recuperating with 12 stitches lining his jaw.

Moral of the story: Yes, as with all the good stories, there is a moral in here as well and it is
“an arm's length is certainly not a good enough distance from which to save a damsel in distress, be a lot farther and ready to run."